


modern Romeo and Juliet

by someone_worth_racing_for



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Attempted Suicide, But with a happy ending!, M/M, a writer's life really isn't easy sometimes, and didn't want to leave again, and then I also got inspired by some amazing fanart, and then also this ask/request came into my Tumblr inbox and I just had to write it down, but i love it, but this storyline just crossed my mind one day, this one right here is pretty sad, well.. I actually don't know how this could happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 09:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30120486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for
Summary: McLaren and Ferrari are really not impressed about their drivers being in a relationship with another driver from their actual biggest enemy.They try to bring them apart with any costs and Lando almost breaks under their pressure, because he misses his boyfriend so much.It did almost cost him his life, but Carlos can save Lando, even if it was close in the end..
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Kudos: 59





	modern Romeo and Juliet

_Fanart by the talented[lia-marin](https://lia-marin.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr_

**modern Romeo and Juliet**

Carlos’ heart had skipped a beat, when he had found out about Lando and himself being together at the press conference on Thursday. It wasn’t only the first time being at the same press conference since they were in different teams, it was overall a chance for them, a chance to be close to each other. Or at least closer than usual.

Lando was also thrilled about it and like his boyfriend, it was the first time he really looked forward to the Thursday press conference. Sadly it was already a longer time ago, that the Spaniard had seen him that happy and excited about something. Carlos had missed that cute smile on his lips so, so much.

The night before, the couple couldn’t sleep properly with being so excited and even when normally they would complain about it, because usually their dreams were the only place, their only chance to be themselves and their dreams were also the only thing they couldn’t forbid them, they still didn’t bother about it.

Even when it was just a press conference, even when people in front of them were watching them closely, even when cameras were pointed at them, but it was better than nothing. And besides, there was also a _before_ and _after_ the press conference, chances to be close to each other there as well, if they were able to sit next to each other during the press conference anyway.

Like usual, Carlos was running late, literally. With Caco together they jogged over to the building the press conference was held. They were the lasts, like always and Carlos instantly hated the other media appointment he had before that had needed longer than actually planned.

But the second he saw Lando standing there in the corner, obviously already looking eagerly and nervously for his boyfriend to finally appear, Carlos’ whole anger about being late and so already missing the first chance to be close to Lando, was instantly forgotten from one second to the other.

The moment they caught each other’s eyes through the room, filled their bodies with pure love and pleasant warmth, when everything began to tingle. Both formed a wide, happy smile instantly, while they kept beaming at each from one ear to the other.

When the interviewer finally directed the drivers to take place at the table in front of them, Lando quickly hurried over to the Spaniard’s side, so they could sit next to each other.

Since that moment, they both couldn’t stop smiling any more. They felt the happiest since weeks, even when they were only able to sit next to each. It was out of instinct, when they brought their seats closer to each other, while sitting down, even when it were only a few inches. But at the moment, they were the closest to each other since such a long, longing time.

They both really needed much self-control to try to give at least some of their attention to the interviewer in front of them and his questions, while their legs were knotted into each other under the table and their bodies were on fire because of the contact.

As inconspicuous as possible, Carlos finally placed his palm on top of his boyfriend’s tight, who really had to suppress to not look over at him or at the hand slowly caressing him underneath the table.

But Lando couldn’t control his cheeks getting all blushed, while the Spaniard watched his profile from the corner of his eyes and how much he struggled to keep his focus on the happenings in front of them.

When the interviewer directed a question to the young Brit, Carlos pulled his hand away, so Lando could give him his full attention, because the Spaniard didn’t want to distract him and bring him into an uncomfortable situation.

But the second the whole focus was on the other two drivers again, the older one stroked with his fingers gently over the back of Lando’s hand and because they did belong to each other, they interlocked their fingers and didn’t let go for the rest of the conference.

The moment they were allowed to leave, Carlos quickly stood up and left behind the little stage the press conference was built up, while Lando still struggled to get rid of his microphone. All desperate he urgently searched for his boyfriend, after he had finally freed himself.

The young Brit gasped, when someone wrapped his hand around his wrist and pulled him behind the next corner. “Carlos.” Lando gushed with big, dreamy eyes and a still lightly surprised smile on his lips, when he got it into which arms he had got pulled.

The Spaniard returned his smile, while he looked affectionately with those soft eyes of him down at his beloved boyfriend. “Carino, finally. Come here.” Of course, Lando didn’t let himself tell so twice, it was just way too long ago to just hesitate about it for one second. Instantly he threw his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and buried his face into the curve of his neck, before the older one could already hear him tearing up and quietly sobbing.

“It’s okay, mi amor. Everything is good.” Carlos whispered into his curls, when he crossed his arms on the younger one’s back and pulled him all tightly against his chest. “I have missed you so much.” Lando cried out desperate, before he sniffed in his boyfriend’s scent, after only having his shirts over the last weeks.

“I have also missed you like hell, mi amor.” Carlos told him, before he kissed the top of his head and gently rocked him back and forth in his arms, when he felt his body trembling against his own. They enjoyed this moment as best and long as they could, both with their eyes closed, inhaling each other’s scent, listening to their heartbeats and feeling each other’s warmth.

When Carlos pulled his head away, but just enough so their eyes could meet, he smiled down at the young man in his arms in awe, before he caressed through his curls and breathed against his nose “I’m so proud about you carino, for staying so strong all the time. Things will become better again, you will see.”

Even when tears had fallen over the edge of Lando’s eyes, he still nodded bravely his head, also because they both actually didn’t have another choice than to stay strong together and hoping for things to change. “Don’t let me go.” Lando whispered pained, when he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s belly now and hold onto him as tight as he managed to do.

“I won’t ever let you go, mi amor. You are everything I have. I love you so much, carino. Please, don’t ever forget that.” Carlos promised, while he looked his boyfriend deep into his eyes to tell him so how serious he meant the just said and that he could count on him.

Gently he whipped those thick teardrops away from his cute cheeks and watched how Lando struggled to tell him with a wobbling bottom lip “I also love you so much Carlos, but.. I need you. I can’t go on like that for much longer. Please. Help me.”

Helpless the Spaniard looked down at the young, distressed man in his arms, who trusted him so much and did count on his help, but at the moment he didn’t know how he could help him, expect of framing his saddened face between his palms, rubbing the tip of his nose against his and promising his boyfriend for the hundred time “Just hold on a little longer, mi amor. Things will become better for us, I know it.”

“I really don’t know how much longer I can do this, Carlos.” Lando whined, while he held onto the collar of his boyfriend’s shirt. “We will make it, carino. We will get through this together, our love is stronger than anyone of them. You will see, mi amor.” The Spaniard swallowed Lando’s sob with pressing his lips softly against his mouth and wrapping him into a long, emotional kiss. Their first kiss since that one night.

They were still lost in the kiss, when some woman’s voice suddenly interrupted their closeness. “Oh god, finally. Here you are.” Charlotte was out of breath, when she caught them at their hiding place, followed by a not less out of breath and worried looking Caco. Instinctively Lando pressed himself closer against the older one and also Carlos tightened the grip around his boyfriend’s slim figure.

Charlotte tilted her head and smiled tortured to herself, when she saw them like that and she seemed to be as hurt as they were, when she told them with a sorry voice “Lando, we have to go.” The reaction was exactly like they had all expected it to be. The young Brit wildly shook his head and new waves of tears rolled over his cheeks.

“Give us just five more minutes. Please.” Carlos begged first the woman in front of him, before his eyes wandered over to his cousin, who looked as upset and torn like Charlotte. “Guys, you know we can’t do that. If they knew that you are actually that close at the moment, they would..”

The woman trailed off, this was the worst part of her job, trying to keep apart what actually belonged together. “Carlos. Please.” Lando cried even begging up at his boyfriend, after he had got it that there was no point to argue with Charlotte or Caco about it, because also his boyfriend’s cousin shared the same opinion as the woman.

Carlos tried to stay strong for the younger one, for both of them, when he swallowed down his own tears building up and the tight knot forming inside his throat. “You will be fine, mi amor. Don’t be scared, I will find a way for us to be close again soon. I promise, everything will be good again.”

While Carlos still tenderly pressed a kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead, Charlotte had already stepped forward and tried to pull Lando away from his boyfriend. “No. Let me go.” Lando begged all desperate, but of course also this time it didn’t help.

With everything he had, the crying boy was holding onto the older one and even when Carlos knew they had to let go, he still couldn’t do it. Not when his boyfriend was crying that way, not when he knew he needed him so bad, not knowing when they will be able to be that close again.

By now, Charlotte really had to drag Lando laborious away from the older one, she was even afraid to leave bruises on the young man’s upper arms. “Lando. Please, don’t make it any harder for yourself.” The woman tried to talk him into it, but only caused him to cry even more bitterly into Carlos’ shirt and hold onto him like his life did depend on it.

Finally, also Caco couldn’t only stand there any more and watch them like that, when he got over to his cousin and first laid his hand on top of his shoulder, while telling him to let go off his boyfriend. But Carlos just couldn’t, he couldn’t let Lando go, he had promised him to not let him go, to always watch out for him and to keep him save.

When Caco’s first tries to get them apart weren’t successful, he also had to pull onto his cousin’s arm to get the couple apart, to literally rip them apart. With them both pulling at them, they finally succeed and Lando cried out all bitterly the moment the safety of his boyfriend’s arms was gone.

“No! Carlos!” Lando screamed so heart-breaking that it caused tears by all three of them. Also seeing the younger one trying to get back again into Carlos’ arms with everything he had, where he did actually belong, was very dramatic to watch. “Lando.” The Spaniard whined, when he saw his boyfriend like that, but the grip of Caco’s hands on his shoulder and arm tightened instantly.

Because Lando’s body became weaker and weaker with every more tear rolling down his face and every more inch he got pulled away from the older one, Charlotte finally got him under control. But with the last strength he had left inside his tortured body, Lando tried to reach out after his boyfriend for one more time.

“Carlos.” He whimpered all desperate, hoping for the older one to take his hand, pulling him back into his arms and not ever letting go again. The Spaniard tried, he really tried to reach his boyfriend’s hand, but Charlotte and Caco were stronger than their broken hearts.

The moment they both got it that it was pointless, they let their arms sink and Lando’s weak body finally gave up. He caved in and gave himself up to his fate. Charlotte pulled her arms around the younger one, while she leaded him more gently and carefully now, away from the two Spaniards.

Lando was crying painful in her arms, cries that got right under their skin and caused Carlos’ already so badly suppressed protector instincts to almost explore, while he could only stand there and watch how his boyfriend got dragged away from him once again.

Charlotte looked back over her shoulder for one more time, telling Carlos so worthless with just her eyes about how sorry she was, but they all had no other choice. The Ferrari driver had his eyes locked at the shaking body inside her arms, till they were around the corner and Lando’s cries finally died away in the distance.

The moment the younger one was indeed out of his reach, Carlos couldn’t hold himself back any more. He always tried to stay strong and calm for his boyfriend, but he couldn’t hold those feelings back any more now.

When Caco was sure about that Carlos won’t follow Lando, he finally stopped holding him back and tried to comfort him with telling him “I’m sorry we had to do that, but I’m sure things will become easier for you soon.”

But Carlos really couldn’t hear his cousin’s tries to calm down his tensed nerves any more, especially not with this kind of words he had already heard so often, like Lando had already heard them from his lips so often.

Carlos was sick about the whole toxic situation, he was sick about lying to his boyfriend, even when he was exactly aware about that there was no chance for things to become any better in the next time for them, actually the total contrary even.

The Spaniard pushed Caco’s hand away, when he tried to reach out for him for a well-meant gesture, before he hurried back to the Ferrari motorhome with teary eyes himself.

Actually the couple had already known before, how the whole press conference will turn out, but still the excitement about finally being close to each other again was stronger and even when it were only a few happy moments, they were able to share with each other, it was still worth it, because they both already needed the other one so badly.

But still, even worse they did feel now after their high of sharing a few moments of closeness with each other. Worn-out Carlos let himself fall onto the small couch in his driver room, before he buried his face deep inside his hands and shared a few tears as well. Not because of himself or the way he was feeling, his own worries or longings. No, he was crying because of Lando.

It simply broke his heart to see the younger one like that and even worse, Carlos exactly knew how he could actually help him, how he could make him feel better again, but he just wasn’t allowed to.

He was Lando’s boyfriend and actually it should have been on him to keep him safe, but instead it was him, who had caused those thick tears rolling down his once so cheeky and lively face. It was Carlos himself, who had caused Lando that pain and this knowledge almost killed the Spaniard.

If he had known this all before he had signed that damn contract with Ferrari, about how their lives will change because of it, he would have never done so. He wouldn’t have wasted one more thought about it, because Lando was the most important thing in his life. Way more important than every F1 team, even when it was _that_ special, historical team, way more important than all these wins and also the championship he might get some time in the future. But unluckily Carlos noticed so way too late.

Life had been so easy and great for them, when the couple was still at the same team. Everything was so uncomplicated with being able to spend so much time together, also during the days, even when they had to act like they were only friends as long as they were in public. But at least they had their allies in form of Caco, Rupert, Jon and Charlotte.

They had helped them a lot, especially when they have almost got caught twice. The four of them made their lives even easier with keeping an eye on them and also managing it for them to share a hotel room together and keep that information and also their relationship secretly.

Carlos and Lando, they both had agreed for the Spaniard to sign the Ferrari contract back in the early days of 2020. They both had made that decision and also giving each other the promise that nothing will change between them. They had been so stupid to believe that.

The moment Carlos had raced his last lap for McLaren, things already began to change for them slowly but sure. First almost unnoticeable, small things, but latest after New Year, they got it that nothing will ever be the same again.

They both were pretty busy with their jobs and since Carlos didn’t have a plausible reason any more to fly over to the UK in the middle of a pandemic, they barely saw each other any more. They made it only two times to see each other over the winter, they hadn’t even spent more than 72 hours together over months.

And things didn’t seem to become any better when the season finally started. Back then when Carlos had signed for Ferrari, the couple hadn’t even wasted one thought about that a damn virus could hold them apart like that.

They were in different hotels, so not even Charlotte managed it for them to at least spend the nights together. They also weren’t allowed to see each other on the paddock or do something together outside the racetrack. The guidelines were very strict and everyone who broke the rules had to deal with harsh consequences.

The couple couldn’t risk that, they just couldn’t do that to their teams but also not to each other. So it still stayed by their daily calls in the evening and the little messages they sent each other through the day. It was frustrating, a lot even, but still they knew they had each other and hopefully soon, they will be able to have each other close again.

Of course, their friends noticed how much they did suffer under the distance, they saw how bad they missed and needed each other, so they decided to organize a secret date night for them at the McLaren motorhome.

Together they prepared a nice decorated table and also managed to get them some delicious dinner, before Jon picked Lando up to bring him to the motorhome, Caco did the same with Carlos. Before they could even ask why they had to do so or what was going on, they stood opposite each other, the pretty romantic decorated dining table between them.

Their friends quickly told them to find the already prepared dinner in the kitchen, before they wished them a nice evening and already left the couple alone. It was the best evening they both had since so many months of missing and longing for each other.

The meal they had next to the candlelights was very delicious, but even if it wouldn’t have been, they both still wouldn’t have cared about it with only having eyes for each other anyway. They also couldn’t stop to hold hands during their dinner, searching for as much body contact as possible with the table between them.

But the moment their plates were empty, that body contact wasn’t enough any more. They both hurried upstairs into Lando’s driver room, with some making out sessions in between, before Lando took his boyfriend’s hand firmly into his and they finally made the last few steps into the privacy of his driver room.

They really had the best friends ever, when they found there a small mattress laying on the ground with many fluffy pillows and a comfy looking duvet. And right next to their little love nest, they have prepared a box of tissues and a small, already all too familiar little bottle. The couple really had to thank them for this big surprise and organizing such a great date for them, but not now. That could wait until tomorrow. Right now, they knew better things to do.

They made love three times, after not being able to be that close to each other since such a long time. Their bodies were sticking together with sweat and other body fluids, the air was sticky, steamy and smelled like sex inside the small room, the windows were even fogged up, when Lando leaned over Carlos to claim his already red and swollen lips for another hungry kiss.

They giggled to each other, when they rested their sweaty foreheads against each other and were totally lost in the moment. The night was still young and they still had time before they had to get back to their normal lives, so maybe they will even go for round four or maybe they will just stay like this.

All curled up against each other, they shared those deep kisses, while making up their lack of body contact over the last few weeks and just enjoying each other’s presence. Carlos had just brushed one of those cute curls out of his boyfriend’s face and they shared one of these deep, meaningful looks, when they could both hear that noise coming from downstairs.

Their bodies stiffened instinctively and all tensed they waited if it will hopefully stay by that one noise they had heard. In horror, they had to notice that someone was obviously really inside the building, when they heard that person coming upstairs. They also got it that there were two pairs of feet hurrying into their direction.

“Carlos.” Lando whined in his arms, because they both knew what it would mean for them, if they would get caught. “Shsh.. Stay quiet, carino. Stay calm.” The Spaniard tried to comfort him, but no matter how calm or quiet they would have stayed, it wouldn’t have changed anything, when those two pair of feet stopped right in front of Lando’s driver room and one of them banged at the door, telling them to get the hell out of there.

It was Andreas, their last hope about that it was maybe one of their friends who just wanted to warn them about something had died the moment that familiar voice came to their ears. There was no way out of this situation, the couple was sadly aware of that.

“Give us one minute.” Carlos answered, even when his voice did sound shaking and pretty weak compared to his usual sound of voice. Because Lando was still too overwhelmed to form a clear thought, he kept sitting on the mattress, while Carlos was already on his feet and searched in the darkness for his boyfriend’s and his own clothes.

The Spaniard only took on his jeans and after he had thrown over Lando’s clothes onto his lap, he breathed through one more time, before he got over to finally open the door a split. But Andreas and Zak hurried inside instantly and obviously didn’t bother about the state of the room or about that they both were still half naked, because even before they had entered the room, they had already known what was going on inside there.

Because Lando was still not fully dressed, Carlos tried to shield his boyfriend from the McLaren bosses eyes and also kind of protect him from their loud and harsh words. The couple tried to explain it to them, about that they weren’t able to see each other for so long and they only wanted to spend a few hours together. Of course, they didn’t mention their friends, because he didn’t want them to get into trouble as well.

But they told them about that they were actually sorry for using the McLaren motorhome for their date night and promised them that something like that won’t ever happen again.

But the two men didn’t even want to listen to them. They only yelled at them about how incredible stupid they were to meet with someone outside their own team, about that they obviously weren’t aware about what they did risk here.

Carlos had never seen the two of them like that and every time he tried to make them understand, they only became even louder and more furious. They finally had enough of the driver from their concurrent, when they told Carlos the get the hell out of here, they literally threw him out of the building.

The Spaniard first protested, because he didn’t want to leave his boyfriend alone with them, so he had to deal all on his own with their anger, but in the end he didn’t have a choice any more. He had to leave.

Even when he was already outside on the paddock, he could still hear them yelling at Lando and he just wanted to storm right back into the motorhome and take the younger one out of there, when Mattia suddenly stood right in front of him.

Like Andreas and Zak before, also he instantly began to yell at his thoughtless driver. Someone had obviously betrayed them, someone had known about their date tonight and had told their bosses about it. Mattia did still rebuke the Spaniard outside on the paddock, when Lando followed by Zak and Andreas came rushing outside the building and best Carlos had wanted to get over to his boyfriend and take him into his arms, because he had obviously been crying and in a very bad state.

But the whole yelling only went on and for the first time ever the three men were the same opinion, when they told their drivers that they weren’t allowed to not see each other again. Not during the race weekends, but also not outside the F1 world. If they still do so, they will lose their seats instantly.

It wasn’t only that they were afraid about that the two of them could catch the virus and so harm their teams, their bosses were even more afraid about that they could share secret information about their cars, strategies or whatever with each other, since they were both fighting for P3 in the constructor championship this year.

And no matter how many times the couple tried to make them realize that they would never share any information, hell they weren’t even talking about their jobs when they were together, they still didn’t want to listen. They only sensed a big plot, if they will keep going on meeting each other.

But the worst of all, their bosses exactly knew what to say, to keep them apart from each other. The three of them were exactly aware about that Carlos wouldn’t care, if they would fire him and also Lando could have lived with that, if McLaren would end his contract, but they both couldn’t deal just with the thought about that they were the cause of the other one’s misery.

They would take Lando’s seat away from him, if Carlos should try anything to see his boyfriend again. And they also told Lando about that they will tell Carlos’ father about their relationship, if he won’t follow their rules. The young Brit was exactly aware about how horrified his boyfriend was about his father to find out about them and so also his sexuality.

So the couple did what they wanted from them, because they were afraid about that they will hurt the other, if they did something wrong. They both had to behave, if they didn’t want to ruin their boyfriend’s life.

Since that night on, they were standing under their pressure and influence and also since then they hadn’t dared to see each other, neither secretly during a race weekend nor when they had a few days off, not even during the summer. At least their bosses couldn’t forbid them their dreams about each other.

Months had already passed since that one night and expect from the press conference before, they had never been so close to each other again.

After thinking back about why Carlos found himself in that situation and why they both still kept going on even after all, when he remembered about his reason in the form of the little Brit, his tears dried, because he knew they still had no other choice than to go on like they had done before. They endured this all, they did it all for the love they carried for each other. But was just love enough to keep on every day with no end in sight?

When Carlos had calmed down enough, Caco dared to take place right next to him on the couch and placed his arm around his shoulders, showing him his compassion for the whole mess and also his understanding. The Spaniard was happy for his cousin’s support, but still it didn’t help his hopeless situation at all.

“I’m afraid to lose him, Caco. Lando really isn’t doing well lately, he cries into the phone every time we talk to each other and the worst of all, I can’t help him. He told me that he can’t sleep nor eat any more, he is already so tired of it. Lando really can’t go on like that for much longer and I’m also not so sure about it any more if I can do so. If I can be strong enough for us both.”

Comfortingly Caco rubbed over his back, worthless because he really didn’t have words anymore and he also didn’t want to promise him anything he couldn’t keep anyway. He could only imagine how hard it had to be for the once so happy couple.

Carlos did decide to not write his boyfriend, because he knew they both had to focus on their jobs now, even when he made that decision with a heavy heart. But he didn’t want to make it any worse for the younger one.

They will talk about it in the evening and even when Carlos looked forward to talk to his boyfriend and see him again, even though it will only be through his phone screen once again, he was also kind of afraid about their conversation, because he knew he will have to give promises again he won’t be able to keep.

Never before the Spaniard had been that relieved for the day to finally be over. He had just come back to his hotel room and wanted to take a shower, before he will call his boyfriend, hoping that he had already calmed down a little and he won’t start to tear up the second he will see his face, when someone knocked pretty loud and hysterical at his door.

“Carlos! Carlos, please open! Carlos!” It was Caco, who hammered against the door furious and called after him like something bad had happened, also his face looked like that, after he had finally opened the door and saw his cousin’s to his bones shocked and also scared expression. The Spaniard was almost right about it that something bad had happened, it was just that nothing bad had happened _yet_.

“What’s wrong?” Carlos asked Caco quickly, because he had never seen him like that before. He also wasn’t sure about that he was only so breathless because he had run all the way to his hotel room or if it was the horror written in his eyes that caused his body to react that way.

“Lando.” Caco didn’t have to say more to wake all of Carlos’ alarm clocks and for him to freak out the same way as his cousin did. Before Caco could even tell him what was going on or what had happened, the Spaniard already rushed out of his room, even when he didn’t know where he had to go to get to his boyfriend.

Caco had already expected that reaction from his cousin, when he finally made it to catch up with him and he informed him quickly about what had happened to Lando and he was also already aware about it before, that Carlos will only believe him, if he will see it with his own eyes.

But at the moment, Carlos was also the only one, who could help his boyfriend and bring him back.

Even when the Spaniard had known that Caco would never ever make such jokes about something like that, also because his cousin was exactly aware about how protective and caring he always was about the younger one, he still couldn’t believe what he had to see there, when they finally made it to the rooftop.

“Lando. No.” It escaped Carlos’ lips only with a whisper, when he saw his boyfriend standing there behind the railings on the very edge of the roof, only the tight grip of his hands around the cold metal of the railing kept him from jumping into the deep.

Carlos hadn’t even noticed Charlotte, Rupert nor Jon around him, being as shocked, overwhelmed and helpless about the whole situation as he was. He felt like he was in his worst possible nightmare ever. This right here just couldn’t be true, this didn’t happen at the moment, it just couldn’t be.

But the cold night air hugging his body, the tension in the air, his heart hammering against his rips as wild as never before and in front of him the love of his life, who was shortly before letting go and leaving his life forever in just a blink of an eye, told him that he had actually never been that alive before. He just had to do something _right now_ or he will lose the light of his life forever.

“Lando, mi amor. Please, don’t do this.” Carlos tried to tell him as calm as he managed to do, even when his body was filled with pure horror. He also tried to make some steps forward with his shaking legs, being surprised about that his legs were still able to carry his bodyweight. Only then Lando noticed his presence and looked back over his shoulder at him so quickly that the Spaniard frozen his tracks, because he was afraid he could lose his balance.

“Carlos. You shouldn’t be here. Please, go away again. I don’t want you to see this.” Lando tried to talk him into it, like his boyfriend would ever be able to do something like that. “Do you really think I can simply turn around and go away again? Taking a shower and go to bed, while I know you are up there and trying to..”

Carlos failed his words, because just thinking about what the younger one had planned to do when he got up here, caused a bad shiver to run down the length of his back and goose bumps to break free over his whole body.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t want you to be here.” The young Brit apologized once again, like that changed or made anything better, like it would become so more bearable for his boyfriend. “It’s not too late, mi amor. Please, come back over the railing so we can talk properly about it.”

The moment Lando got it that his boyfriend tried to get closer to him, he freaked out and began to shift around all nervously, which almost caused Carlos’ heart to stop to beat once again. “No, don’t come closer or I will jump. Please, Carlos. Just let me be. Just let me finally end this. You can’t change my mind any more anyway.”

With surrendered hands, the Spaniard hold on his tracks, being in pure horror about that his boyfriend could let go, if he dared just one more step towards him. “Lando, listen. There is a solution for everything in life, also for our situation. Believe me, we will find a way out of all this. But first come back over the railing, mi amor. You don’t have to do this, I know you don’t even want to do it. Please, mi amor. I promise you, everything will be good again. I really promise this time.”

Carlos was begging his boyfriend by now, he would also go onto his knees if it would mean to get Lando away from the edge. He would do anything, he would give everything to hold him into the safety of his arms again. He was sure about that he would never ever let go again.

“No, there isn’t a solution for everything, at least not for us. They won’t ever allow us to be together again. They won’t ever let that happen and I really can’t go on like that any more, because it won’t ever stop. I just can’t. I have tried, I have tried it so bad and for so long, but I have given up. I need you Carlos, I need you so much. More than they will ever be able to understand and they also don’t even have a clue about how much you mean to me. They won’t ever get that, because they don’t even want to understand us. And I just can’t live without you any more, missing you every second, being close to you here, but still so far away and knowing that I just can’t have you in the end of the day, it.. it became too much for me. I’m sorry, but I really can’t handle that any more and I also don’t want to be the reason why you will lose your seat or your father’s trust. If I don’t kill myself tonight, it will kill me slowly anyway.”

Tears were rushing down Lando’s cheeks without any stop, his voice was thin and shaky, but because Carlos was already used to his voice to sound that way, he was able to understand every of his words, but he still couldn’t believe it that they had brought his boyfriend so far. That Lando had got so desperate, that he didn’t know another way out of this whole mess than killing himself.

“Lando, please. You can’t do that.” By now the Spaniard was indeed begging, feeling as desperate as his boyfriend and so incredible helpless. “You can’t do this to your family, to your friends, to the one who care about you so much.” Carlos once again tried to change his mind, even when he already knew before that it was pointless.

The young Brit shook his head slowly, before he moved his head, so he was looking down at the endless darkness under his feet again. The older one exactly knew how scared Lando was about highs, but still he had managed to climb over that railing, he meant it more than just serious.

“You can’t do this to me.” Carlos whimpered in despair, not knowing any more how he should manage to live without the adorable boy in his life. He just couldn’t face life without him any more. Lando’s voice was only a whisper, when he said more to himself, than to the Spaniard, whose eyes he could feel burning into his back “I’m sorry, but I have to. You will be better off without me.”

It was quiet then, the calm before the storm, while Carlos could only stand there, stare at the love of his life and thinking strained about how he could save his life. Their both lives, because he just also won’t be able to survive this all here without him.

“Fine.” The Spaniard declared, before he got closer to the railings himself. Behind his back he could hear Charlotte calling after him, he could also hear Caco’s voice and finally the woman’s lips even escaped a scream, when Carlos climbed over the railing as well.

“What are you doing here?” Lando asked him with wide, scared eyes, while he watched him standing there right next to him on the edge. “I also can’t live without you, Lando. You exactly know that. There is no me without you. If you jump, I will jump as well.” Carlos explained to him, he was never that determined in his life before.

But he was also aware about, that he used their team’s biggest weapon they had to keep them apart, against his own boyfriend now. He knew that Lando won’t jump, when was aware of that Carlos will let go off the railing as well the very next moment. Even when they both would have been dead within the next seconds, Lando still just couldn’t stand the thought that it was his fault why Carlos killed himself.

The Spaniard knew it was unfair to play that card, but he didn’t know how else he could help himself any more, how he could prevent his boyfriend from ending his life. Carlos could see it in Lando’s eyes, the moment he realized that the older one meant it all serious.

“No, Carlos. You can’t jump, I won’t let you. I just won’t let that happen to you, you hear me? Go back and live your life, forget me and find someone else you can be happy with. I have made my decision.” The young Brit told his boyfriend almost angrily about his stupidity.

“And I have also already made my decision, Lando. I won’t ever find someone like you again. Either we both jump or we will get together back over the railing. There is no other opinion, there never was.” Carlos’ strict voice told Lando, that he had no other choice, if he wanted to save his boyfriend’s life.

“But if we will go back, it will still be the same as before and I just can’t deal with that any more.” Lando complained pained, because life just wasn’t liveable not even mention to be enjoyable like that any more. “I really promise you carino, that if you will go back with me together, you will be happy again. I will make sure about that.”

“But how do you want to manage that? They won’t ever give us peace.” Lando still seemed to be interested in living and he hadn’t already giving himself up completely. Carlos was relieved about that little flame of hope.

“We will do, what we should have done right at very first day. We no longer allow ourselves to get suppressed from them like that. We deserve to be happy and we are also allowed to love each other. Already tomorrow morning we will go to them and tell them that we no longer play their stupid game. Either they will finally accept our relationship or we will both leave.”

“Are you serious?” Lando asked with a baffled look, not believing it to one hundred percent about what he had just heard. “Yes, mi amor. I have never been that serious before. It’s enough, actually already since a longer time. We both deserve it to be happy.” The Spaniard confirmed to his boyfriend with a soft smile on his lips, the first smile this evening.

“And what about your father?” Lando remembered him, being afraid that he might change his decision again. “He will understand it, he just has to understand it. And even if not, I would still have you. I don’t need more in life than you, carino. I really don’t care about what people will think about us. I just want you.”

New waves of tears build up in Lando’s eyes, but this time it weren’t tears of despair or angst of keeping on his life, it were tears of new hope blooming up inside himself and pure trust towards his boyfriend. Even his lips began to twitch and formed a small, still insecure smile.

“Just take my hand, mi amor. And we will start a new life together.” And this time Carlos will keep his promise, no matter what other people say, no matter how much they try to blackmail them. Lando’s attempted suicide was his wake-up call and this time he won’t mess it up.

When Carlos returned his smile and he saw the flame of hope raising in his boyfriend’s eyes as well, he stretched out his hand for Lando to take it. The younger one only hesitated for one brief moment, still unsure about if everything will work out like they wanted, because like if he would make one step forward, there also won’t be a way back any more, when he will climb back with Carlos together over the railings.

But the love and trust towards his boyfriend was stronger in the end, when he carefully stretched out his hand to reach his. With tears still swimming in their eyes, they shared one more smile, before Carlos nodded his head in relief and finally climbed back over the railing to their friend’s relieve as well.

The whole time long, he hadn’t let go of Lando’s hand, not only because he wanted to make sure his boyfriend was as safe as he could be with still standing there on the edge, but he was also still worried about that he could change his mind again in the last second, while he knew the older one was already in safety.

But Lando had already turned towards him, he had made his decision and also won’t change it any more. Lando will stay by Carlos’ side and the Spaniard thanked god for that this all here still ended good.

Lando had just wanted to climb over the railing as well, when he suddenly slipped out. Behind his back, Carlos could hear Charlotte screaming and how the three men came running closer, trying to help him, when Lando shouted his name for help through the night “Carlos!”

He wouldn’t have made it, he would have lost his life tonight, if Carlos wouldn’t have held all tightly his hand and didn’t let go. When he saw the love of his life hanging with both feet over the darkness of the abyss, his body developed strength, he wasn’t aware about having before.

Easily, like the whole body weight of Lando on just one of his arms was nothing, he pulled him over the railing and into the safety of his arms. “I won’t let you go, I won’t let you down. I have got you, mi amor.” Carlos whispered into his curls, when Lando broke down into tears instantly after the shock.

Somehow the Spaniard was relieved about those thick tears rolling down his face, because it only showed him that his boyfriend really still wanted to live. He still wanted to fight for their happiness, he hadn’t given up. He had made his decision to live, he didn’t want to die any more.

Grateful about Lando’s decision and that he was still able to hold him in his arms, the Spaniard kissed his forehead in pure relief and affection, while he gently pressed his head against his chest, not allowing to get any harm close to his precious boy ever again.

Lando was holding onto his shirt by his back as tight as he could, being afraid about falling if he would let go, while he cried bitterly and his whole body was shaking from sheer horror. With glassy eyes himself, Carlos finally dared to look over at their friends, who were the same messes as him.

“I’m so sorry.” Lando whimpered between sobs, so he gave his whole attention to the crying boy in his arms again. Comfortingly the Spaniard rubbed over his back, while he secured him with whispering into his hairline “It’s okay, mi amor. Everything will be good. The nightmare is finally over.”

When Carlos felt that his boyfriend’s legs were boycotting his bodyweight, he easily lifted him up into his arms, so Lando could wrap his legs around his belly. Carlos’ own legs were a little weak after everything, but he was able to carry the younger one all safely.

He wanted to bring Lando into his hotel room to lay down, so he could calm down and process the happenings. When he passed by their friends, everyone gave them a compassionate look, they rubbed their hands over Lando’s trembling back and patted Carlos on his shoulder.

The young Brit was still crying and sobbing, when the older one finally helped him to sit down on top of his bed and carefully got him out of his clothes. Because Carlos knew that his boyfriend needed to know that he was close and won’t ever leave his side again, he gave him his usual sleeping shirt, while he got into a new one.

After they had laid down and Carlos had wrapped their bodies into the warm duvet, Lando slowly calmed down in his boyfriend’s arms, while he was gently rocking him back and forth. “I’m so sorry, I have let that happen. I really didn’t want you to feel this way, mi amor. I should have done something to save you from those thoughts. It should have never come to that. I’m so happy you are still here.”

Lando sniffed his tears away and even looked up right into his eyes, when he told him “It’s not your fault, Carlos, it’s only their fault. We have just wanted to be happy, but they didn’t let us. I’m sorry for scaring you so much, right now I actually don’t know any more why I have wanted to do so, but.. I was upset after today, I have thought I won’t ever feel happiness in my life ever again, but being in your arms already makes me the happiest man on this planet.”

Carlos smiled fondly down at his boyfriend by his words, being more than just grateful to still have him in his life. “I won’t ever give you a reason to just think about it again, mi amor. I love you and you love me, everything else doesn’t matter. Tomorrow our lives will finally start.”

Lando was laying on top of his boyfriend’s warm body, slowly but sure drifting off into sleep, after his tears had dried, when someone suddenly knocked at their door. Carlos had a déjà vu, when he could hear his cousin calling for him through the locked door like a few hours ago.

But knowing that his boyfriend was laying all safely inside his arms, he really played with the thought to just ignore him. “Carlos, Lando. Please, open the door.” Caco pleaded once again, before the older one began to move underneath Lando. “Please, don’t open. At least let us have this night.”

Lando begged with big already watering eyes again. Gently Carlos brushed over his cheek, before he secured him “Don’t worry, mi amor. No one can bring us apart any more, I will make sure about that. Not tonight and not ever.”

He also pecked a kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips, before he finally stood up and went over to open Caco the door. “They want to talk to you. Zak, Andreas and Binotto.” He let his cousin know and was already expecting the worst.

“Hell, Caco. Not now, not after.. I have almost lost Lando tonight. They can still fire us tomorrow. I don’t want to see anyone of them right now.” Carlos actually just wanted to close the door again and crawl back right next to his boyfriend where he did belong, when Caco held him up from doing so, when he quickly added

“Someone has filmed everything from down on the streets. The.. the video is already everywhere on the internet.” This caught his cousin’s full attention and also Lando’s, when he suddenly appeared right next to his boyfriend’s side in the doorway.

Caco had to admit that the young Brit wasn’t looking good with still being all pale, his red and swollen eyes and all those dried tear tracks on his cheeks, but at least he was safely back in his boyfriend’s arms, when Carlos gently pressed him into his side and kissed the top of his head, while Lando wrapped his arms around the older one’s belly, while waiting tensed about what Caco had to tell them.

“They don’t want to fire the two of you, they want to apologize.” The couple couldn’t believe what they had just got told, but Caco seemed to mean it serious, while he nodded urgently his head. “Why the hell do they want to apologize?” Carlos asked still in disbelief, because he couldn’t understand why their teams had first tried to bring them apart with every cost and now they even wanted to apologize for what they had done to them over the last months.

“Because you can exactly hear on the video why Lando has wanted to jump. People’s reaction under the video is overwhelming, they attack your bosses for doing this to you. They don’t have another choice than to apologize and they also don’t want to fire you, if they would do so, people would probably riot or boycott. They are all on your sides, it’s not just the two of you against McLaren and Ferrari any more, you have their backs. And of course ours as well.“

Lando gasped in surprise, before he looked up at his boyfriend. The same shock was written in Carlos’ face, before he pulled the younger one closer to press plenty kisses into his hairline. “I have told you, mi amor. Everything will be good.”

Caco smiled to himself, when he saw them that happy and relieved, but he still wasn’t finished with his good news. “Of course, also your dad has already seen the video.” Their bodies tensed by the mentioning of Carlos’ father and the relief was gone again from one second to the other, because until now that possibility hadn’t even crossed their minds.

“Don’t worry, everything is alright. He accepts it, even more, he is happy for the two of you and he told me, you should have never been afraid to tell him about it in the first place. He is proud about you, the two of you have his full support and he is also sorry about what you have been through, what has happened tonight and that he couldn’t have helped you. But from today on he will make sure that no one will only dare to get into your way and prevent the two of you from your happiness.”

His cousin’s words caused tears in Carlos’ eyes, his father’s support meant everything to him and Lando exactly knew that why he wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed his cheek tenderly.

“Jon has also talked to your parents, Lando. Luckily he had reached them, before they have seen the video. I should tell you to call them back tomorrow and that you have their full support as well.”

The couple just couldn’t hold themselves back any more, they just had to express their joy and because Caco was the only one around, they both hugged him at the same time. They have taken the Spaniard by surprise, but he finally hugged them back as well, being as relieved about that everything had ended well.

“You deserve it to be happy, guys. You deserve it so much. And you also deserve some hours of sleep now. I think no one will hold it against you, when you stay in bed a little longer tomorrow.”

All cuddled up, the couple fell asleep in each other’s arms not even five minutes later, getting the best rest ever with knowing that they will be able to start a new life tomorrow morning. Knowing that they were finally allowed to be themselves, that they could finally be happy.

Carlos and Lando were slumbering deeply and firmly, while the whole internet already called them the modern Romeo and Juliet.

**Author's Note:**

> The first time I have written such kind of story, but I just had to write it down, latest after the ask in my inbox and then also this beautiful and so touching fanart from lia-marin on Tumblr - thank you so much again for your agreement to share your art ❤️ I'm so in love with it, especially their expressions and the vibes are still giving me goose bumps
> 
> I hope this one right here wasn't too dark, but I have tried to make up to it with a happy ending for our boys
> 
> Thanks for reading! ❤️


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